Daily Poll/Archive/October 2007
Halloween 2007 *Beware of liberals, hippies, and bears At your family-safe church Halloween party, will (or did) you dress up as: a hippie Rupert Murdoch a bear Nancy Pelosi Obama bin-Barack Octobert 27, 2007 *Terrorist points, terrorists, Greatest President, Greatest Vice President The terrorist list growing from 20 on 9/11 to 755,000 during President Bush-Cheney's reign proves that: They can't arrest the Democrats in the House and Senate. The Greatest President is doing a heckuva job. Torture works. The terrorists are running scared. Octobert 26, 2007 *Logo points, Blackwater, Erik Prince, bears Should Blackwater change its logo from a bear paw? Yes, to polluted water. No. Yes, to a bald eagle claw. Yes, to a cross shaped like a dagger. No, they fight people who aid and comfort bears. Octobert 25, 2007 *Cash points, America Supports You, Greatest President Ever, Dick Cheney, and maneuvered by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer The Greatest President Ever has demanded from Congress that they approve more money to support our troops. How much should Congress approve? no more; he's gotten enough, bring the troops home! the amount the Stars and Stripes newspaper reports $200 billion whatever amount Dick Cheney tells him everyone's first born son & life insurance policy Octobert 24, 2007 *Edit points, global warming, CDC, climate crisis, Greatest President, Office of Management and Budget President Bush was once again kind enough to lend White House support to help the CDC Director Dr. Julie Gerberding: Sharpen a wordonista's Senate testimony from 14 pages to 4. Remove scientific references on global warming's health risks. Replace Gore-invented terms like "climate crisis" with climate change. Provide accounting experts at the OMB to correct CDC's medical "theories". Octobert 23, 2007 *Octobert points, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report For the 1-week anniversary of the Greatest News Program Ever's 2nd anniversary, should the month of October be renamed Octobert? Yes No You mean it's not already? Do Democrats hate America? Is President Bush the Greatest President Ever? October 22, 2007 *Infection points, staph, Red state, Blue state, nerds The staph infection of 10 college athletes in New York proves: Even Republican colleges are spreading it. Colleges of the Christian Brothers and American Catholics spread it. The disease is spread by Blue states, not Red states. Liberal nerds don't know how to shower. All college students are hippies. October 21, 2007 *Begging points, Maureen Dowd, New York Times provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer The 2008 election the most important election ever! Who's The Scariest Candidate of All? Hillary Clinton Rudy Giuliani Barack Hussein Obama bin-Laden Bill Clinton's wife Chelsea Clinton's momma October 20, 2007 *Genetic points, bears, Republican, John McCain, Chris Matthews A Republican presidential candidate said that more tax money is spent on bear DNA than democratic taxing and spending on child care. Is this really true? Viet Nam vet John McCain said so. A presidential candidate said so. A republican said so. A liberal journalist asked the question, so it has to be false. October 19, 2007 *Spine points, deals, balls, gut Once again, Democrats were unable to override the Greatest President Ever's veto. Is this because: They're actually conservatives. Senator Joementum Lieberman told them not to. They don't actually hate America. They have no balls (or Thatchers in the case of Pelosi). October 18, 2007 *Veto points, Veto, Congress, Bush's 1st Veto, Vetoes tax & spend Even though President Bush dirtied himself by losing his vetoginity a year ago because of democrats, he's had to do it again 3 times. Most recently, in some tax & spend bill to give children free health insurance. Should we tell Congress to: Override the veto. Support their gut. Stop hating America. Support their President. Cut taxes for tobacco companies. Octobert 17, 2007 - 2nd Anniversary Colbertacular October 17th is the anniversary of the greatest television program ever! Rememberated by Senior Analyst and Mrs. Colbert-WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer Best Nailing (list of guests) Who has the chance to be remembered as the best nailing ever? Tim Robbins ACLU's Anthony Romero author Elizabeth de la Varga Amy Sedaris Eleanor Holmes Norton Lynn Westmoreland author Stephen Colbert Best Episode Which show might be remembered as the best episode ever? George Lucas judging the green screen challenge. Feminists Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda teaming up with apple pie. 1st episode where truthiness was defined. The gay gay gay gay gay episode. October 16, 2007 *Reading points: I Am America (And So Can You!), Stephen's Book Club It's the 1-week anniversary of the greatest book ever published, I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert. Have you already: Bought the book and read it. Bought the book and put it at the top of your bookshelf. Bought the audio book to listen to when Stephen, O'Reilly, or Rush are not on. Downloaded an illegal copy from illegal tubes on The Internets. October 15, 2007 *Talking points: Nobel Prize, hippies, commie Who will the liberals at The Nobel give a prize to next? Michael Moore Jane Fonda Barack Obama Al Franken Jon Stewart October 12, 2007 *Talking points, Nobel Peace Prize, Al Gore, global warming, hippies The reasons why The Nobel supports terrorists: They awarded Al Gore some peace award for his environmental lies. They haven't awarded one to The Greatest President Ever. They haven't awarded one to The Greatest Vice President. They haven't awarded one to Rupert Murdoch. They haven't awarded any to Dr. Stephen Colbert. October 8, 2007 Quiz points, World War 2, books, history, freem schooling provided by Senior Teacher's Aid WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer Heroes returning to work on Monday are often concerned about their children returning to the liberal influence of schools, their teachers, and worst, the books. Fortunately, a recent test of San Francisco high school students showed freem hard at work: They failed a World War 2 history quiz. None were able to translate hippie news in the San Francisco Chronicle. All the words in the books had been blacked out by drawings of flags and angels. 110% of teachers tought gay sex with condoms instead of American history. October 5, 2007 Quiet points, Secret vet care Non-combat fatality of troop in Afghanistan via a single shot to the head within a secured military site. What crying liberals don't understand is: Blackwater USA was not paid to protect them. The Swift Boat Vets wrote an investigation request before John Kerry did. It's Afghanistan, not Iraq. It was just a 30-year old lesbian with no Cheney relatives. October 4, 2007 Health points, $92 mil, 5 mil lost, The Greatest President Reasons why President Bush had to make the tough choice to veto the child health care act: He already spent $92 million on a new Blackwater contract 3 days earlier. Higher tobacco taxes would reduce Republican campaign contributions. The are no children left behind. The bill he signed said so. The Money is needed to add special bathrooms in the Senate. October 3, 2007 Testifying points, liberal committee, Condoleezza Rice, Erik Prince with ideas provided by Secretary of Poll WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer Tuesday, liberal nerd Henry Waxman battled CEO of Blackwater, Erik Prince. Waxman had to settle for aid from Eleanor Holmes Norton and Dennis Kucinich. K-Prince was aided by: spokesmodel Condoleezza Rice drunken Blackwater security guards Kenneth Starr a group prayer with First Lady Laura Bush October 2, 2007 911 points remembered by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer It's Tuesday. Time to remember 9/11 again, because 9/11 happened on a Tuesday. Thank God for Rudy Giuliani, who continues to never forget 9/11 by: Throwing an election campaign party with a $9.11 fee. Providing flaming WTC salt and pepper shakers on every table. Covering the floor in asbestos. Keeping ear plugs in blindfolded security guards. October 1, 2007 Abortion points, McCain church, fetus, Ron Paul, Joementum, independent Republicans are being pressured by Christian conservative leaders to keep kissing babies, especially fetuses, and dump Giuliani, McCain, or Thompson if nominated as the Rpublican president. The obvious choice is: Dick Cheney General Petraeus Ronald Reagan's ghost Ron Paul Feel the Joementum and vote independent